If you don’t know what they are, you’ve probably never had one. To you lucky folks, I AM JEALOUS. Enjoy that space while you have it. In my journey with the tarot, my decks are quick to let me know when I am stuck somewhere and just where that stickiness is manifesting through an ever persistent ‘stalker card.’ Sometimes they come up for us personally, deck after deck, draw after draw, sometimes they manifest in repeated numbers or synchronicities in our walking life, sometimes in readings for clients…as my dad used to say, if you don’t learn the lesson, the world will keep teaching it.

They can be so frustrating, my all water sign placement self honors that feeling completely, but in my meditations and attempts to meet my demons, I have found such a joy and a respect for myself and the space that I’m in when these repeated messages begin to arise. I hope you can too!

Before I go any further, I want to talk about the name we’ve coined here as a collective and invite you to help us DISMANTLE it. The tarot is a tool for healing, a mirror to nature and to your own truth and movements. I think so much of our fear around the mirror is rooted in the fact that we live in a time when so much of our worth has been boiled down to what we look like. So of course it’s natural to feel overwhelmed at the idea of having to stare into ourselves until we see the truth, but that’s what these little repeat cards are trying to help us do.

I have had stalkers of the human kind.

They are terrifying and change your entire being. You are always on edge, looking around corners, hiding from the dark, waiting for something to happen. Afraid to do…pretty much everything. Not trusting anyone, let alone yourself.

This is NOT the vibe I want you to feel when you meet a card that keeps following you. I tend to call them “time beetles” which are part of the Dr. Whoniverse (and I explain in a post HERE). But if that’s too nerdy for you, I invite you to think of them as little sister (or brother) cards instead.

And if you are NOT an elder sibling, let me give you the most quintessential little sister pop culture reference that I can muster to reintroduce you to the magic of this kind of card relationship.

Mei from My Neighbor Totoro.

Mei is adorable, sweet, genuine, absolutely obsessed with her sister, annoying at times, needs constant looking after, but is also, the first one to meet the magic and the one who introduces the rest of the family to it.

I am in no way saying us oldests cannot meet and make magic on our own, but there is something about a little sibling (and inner child) that allows us to reconnect with the importance of being small and how necessary it is for us when we are that young to learn by following and looking up.

If you have found yourself being followed by a specific tarot card, I guarantee that the more you try to hide from it, the stronger it will become. That’s how little siblings work. They WANT to tell you something. Even if you think you already know what they are going to say. Even if they told you yesterday…their mind is made up. It’s no use trying to get away. In fact, like being chased in a dream, the best thing to do is to turn around ask ask them WHAT DO YOU WANT?!

Because here’s the deal. They might be trying to GIVE you something. Even if it’s small and you already have it. Even if it’s a stick or neat shaped rock or some sort of wilted flower...something you don’t think you want, but we all know the rule that if a small child is trying to give you something, you take it, and say thank you like it is the gift you have been waiting for all your life.

AND THAT MOMENT. That’s the moment the card goes from following you, to LEADING you.

And when we allow ourselves to be led by curiosity, that’s where the magic lives.

I don’t want this is any way to seem like I think tarot and follower cards should be all sunshine and rainbows. That’s part of the reason I use Mei. Siblings fight. Dramatically and sometimes without resolution. But they are a part of your life for whatever seasons they stick around for, and this energy will inevitably come to the surface for any of us.

I have a few questions I like to ask these cards when they start to show up and I offer them to you as a life jacket into the waters of this mirror. This is sort of the bit where your parents stuck you in a room together to work it out…and this is the bit where you have to look the demon in the face and see what it’s been eating…and if you have been the one providing the sustenance.

Dramatic analogy? Yes. But does it work? Usually.

I do often find that by imagining myself with this card as an embodied presence who also deserves attention and compassion, it’s easier to relay that compassion and energy to myself…and through this, to clients. Sometimes I use these questions as a spread and introduce other tarot cards or oracle cards into the picture, but sometimes I just journal through them with the card in front of me to see what the body spits out. Trust your vessel on this one! The answers might surprise you.

1. Where is this trigger?

This is often an obvious feeling answer that maybe we’re too involved to see. Is the card following you a court card? It may be someone you know…someone who knows how to push a button you didn’t realize was so sensitive. They don’t have to be important to you, but it could be something they said that has just burrowed its way into your brain. Is it a 5? Might be triggering some sort of fear around change or confrontation. Is it a ten? Are you ending a cycle? Or beginning a new one? Or repeating and old one? This is the time for meditation on the card as a mirror. What do you see in it that makes you uncomfortable?

2. What do we have in common?

This is the card’s Tinder profile. What information can you get before you swipe just by analyzing the photo. Silly? YES. Have some fun! There is joy in getting to know yourself.

What direction is the figure in the card facing? Where in your life are you looking that same way? How are they dressed? What are they holding? Are they carrying ten swords? Are you?! Are they on a journey? Are they trying to rule? You’ll quickly see where in your life you need to spend some time healing and listening.

3. Would my inner child be friends with you?

First impulse. Think of this as your inner child meeting this card as another little kid. Would they get along? As an example, my inner child would have HATED the 7 of Cups. Too many choices, too flashy, too much showing off…but would have loved the Fool. Why? They have a dog. They’re outside! Clearly going somewhere. Now that we know we’d be friends, can you take the card by the hand and see how it feels to align with it? And if you wouldn’t be…why? You’re stuck in this room together remember, so why are you defending yourself against it? These types of questions can help you to open yourself up to where you have been hiding your truths or pretending to be happy/content where you’re not really aligned.

4. Are you leading or following?

By the time I get to this one, I usually have a pretty good sense of if I’ve been ignoring this energy or if I need to get on board with it and surrender to the journey. This is where you ask Mei to take you to Tororo. You ask her to guide you in whatever windy, little sister, back roads and detour filled path she thinks is necessary to find the magic you’re after. This is a tough spot because relinquishing control to the part of you that needs to be seen or heard is going to be scary. Your ego and brain will start to freak out because that’s not the plan!!! But there is room here for faith to step forward.

5. Meditation for Movement.

My favorite one. What is the movement of this card? How can you move like it? I don’t necessarily mean moving forward either. This can be scooting sideways on the journey. Is your follower card an 8? Where can you move in smaller but equal ways towards who you want to be? Is it a (traditionally) masculine card? Where/how can you invite movement into your life in heavier or more thrusting ways? A (traditionally) feminine card? Where can you vessel? Wait or be filled in order to move you?

By this point, you are probably thinking, ‘this is going to take a while.’ My answer is YES. IT. IS.

That’s the beauty of these cards I think. It is an invitation for you to sit on the grass in the sun or in your room surrounded by things that bring you joy and work it out.

You deserve that time. We all do. Processing and healing and curiosity should not be rushed, and I find more often than not, both with clients and myself, that sometimes time is all the body is asking for.

A little quality time with you is all this card really wants, and it just might be that a little bit of time is exactly what you need.